A talk with Christina Ibsen
Christina Meyer is an actress, nurse and author. She is current with her new book "Med fødderne skrøbeligt plantet" and she has previously published the podcast "Forevigt forandret", which she published after her own divorce in 2019.
We have met Christina for a chat about the importance of self-loving actions during tough periods in life.
What are acts of self-love to you?
Self-love for me is being in a room with people who fill me with good energy and love. Should I mention something that I also do for myself in addition to this, which is otherwise the most important thing, it is a massage with my masseuse Randi, who I have known for 15 years and who knows my body inside and out. She knows exactly what my body needs.
What did you do in the time after your breakup to take care of yourself and your mind?
I was unlucky because the hardest time for me happened while the country was shutting down because of Corona. So I was quite affected and it was probably at that time it dawned on me that it was exactly what I needed to reach myself. I needed calmness to be able to really connect with myself and my needs. When I had stared long enough into the sofa, I got up and started my self-study in the form of my podcast "Forevigt forandret". Here it dawned on me that emotions are the same no matter what major crisis you are facing. In addition to my own work, my mind was also brightened by spending time with my newborn grandson Aksel.
What was your first self-loving step towards finding balance and your core in a new everyday life?
I listened to myself and crossed no boundaries. It made me somewhat more difficult to be with for those closest to me, but it was necessary for me to be true to myself. I tried to fill my day with something that made me happy. When I got a little more energy, I started seeing a psychologist again and downloaded mindfulness apps, it helped me to get more and better sleep. For me, good sleep is one of the most important things to find balance.
Are you good at prioritizing your own needs in everyday life?
I've gotten better at prioritizing myself, I wasn't very good at that before. But it takes some time to learn. People's needs are incredibly different and for a long time my needs were part of a family relationship. So I had to feel and try myself out and sometimes it became a strange mess I didn't feel at home in. I'm still discovering my needs and am often surprised by myself.
Do you have a self-love ritual that you reach for on difficult days?
I use those who are close to me and who can make me see things in a different and more positive way. I really recommend that so you don't just go around in a negative spiral. To have the difficult things turned around with other eyes and ears can change my mood completely.
What do you do to take care of your body?
I go for walks, my body has been under a lot of stress for the past 3 years so I haven't been able to do sports as I have always done. I have played some tennis though. But as I mentioned earlier, I get massages and then I love to take care of my feet and my face. I am quite selective about facial products and I am willing to spend quite a lot on a cream if it works for my skin.
What is your most important personal learning since your divorce?
That I contained much more as a person. That I had many more good and less good sides that have been hidden away in the twosome. By discovering this, I have gotten to know myself better and it has enabled me to change some patterns in myself that have been unhealthy.
What is your best advice if you are in a difficult place in life and need to find yourself again?
Time! Give yourself time to feel properly and don't be afraid of the sadness, loneliness and anger. It's all something that gives room for development if you dare to see and feel these feelings.
Have you set yourself a self-loving goal for the future that you want to share?
I would very much like to be happy and continue to develop and be curious about life. I have been so incredibly sad for a long time and with little short periods of ups and downs. I can feel that it is changing in a positive direction and I will do EVERYTHING to steer the right way. Not that you just have to be a happy person 24/7, but I don't want to go down the black hole anymore in this life
Med fødderne skrøbeligt plantet
It is a book written as a personal narrative.
My intention has been that others in the same situation or if you are in crisis, should be able to reflect on situations that have been taken out of my own crisis. It is about how to regain strength if you have been completely down in life.
I was married for 29 years and was let down quite a bit along the way. But I never doubted whether I should stay in the marriage. It is about my patterns. I only became really aware of that during the development process itself. It was not only about writing this book but also about making a podcast for 3 seasons.